Singers Spot Blog

The spot for singers to meet and improve their skills

More singer jokes from Vocalist.com

Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.

Q: How many Boy Bands does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We don’t know – lightbulbs last longer than most Boy Bands!

Q: What’s the next thing a soprano does in the morning?
A: Looks for her instrument.

Q: How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus?
A: On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.

Q: How do you put a sparkle in a female singers’s eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: What’s the difference between a Female Singer and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.

Q: If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?
A: The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.
A: Who cares?

Q: What’s the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What’s the difference between a soprano and a pirhana?
A: The lipstick.

Q: What’s the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
A: The jewelry.

Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A: Two. One to hold the diet cola and the other to get her accompanist to do it.
A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.

Q: What’s the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman?
A: Stage makeup.

Q: What’s the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
A: About 10 pounds.

Q: What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra?
A: One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile.

Q: How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A: The horses seem very relieved.

Q: What’s the definition of an alto?
A: soprano who can sightread.

Q: What’s the difference between an alto and a tenor?
A: Tenors don’t have hair on their backs.

Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. They can’t get that high.
A: Two; one to screw it in and the other to say, “Isn’t that a little high for you?”

Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to bitch that they could have done it if they had the high notes.

Q: How do you tell if a tenor is dead?
A: The wine bottle is still full and the comics haven’t been touched.

Q: Where is a tenor’s resonance?
A: Where his brain should be.

Q: What’s the definition of a male quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.

Q: What is the difference between the men’s final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance?
A: The tennis final has more men.

Q: What is the difference between a world war and a high school choral performance?
A: The performance causes more suffering.

Q: Why do high school choruses travel so often?
A: Keeps assassins guessing.

Q: What’s the definition of an optimist?
A: A choral director with a mortgage.

Q: What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee?
A: It’s scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans.

Q: How are sopranos defying the laws of astrophysics?
A: The center of the universe shifts with every step they take.

Q: Why can’t many vocalists get through the door?
A: They either can’t find the key or don’t know when to come in.

Q: What’s the difference between a dressmaker and an alto?
A: The dressmaker tucks up the frills.

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April 29, 2008 - Posted by | Humor | , ,

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